Motherhood is a journey and so is postpartum recovery. Neither of which should have to be done alone. Many times we are told what to expect during pregnancy or labor and delivery. However, it’s not often that we hear about what comes along with postpartum and how important it is to have postpartum support. In this post I’ll be sharing why it’s important to find your tribe, and build your support system early.
3 reasons why postpartum support is important
1. Society makes women think we have to do ALL of the things after giving birth. Cook, clean, take care of baby, take care of ourselves, keep the house in order … the list goes on. In reality, the first few days (and months) postpartum are crucial for healing. In order to properly heal, we must have people around us to take care of the little things so that we can take care of the big things: baby and ourselves. It takes a village to raise a child but it also takes a village to make sure that mama is okay after giving birth.
Since I had my baby in Japan, it was essentially just my husband and I. Even then, having just him made the healing process go a bit more smoothly.So no matter if your village is 1 person or 10 people, take advantage of the help.
2. Postpartum depression is REAL. Having a support system that you can speak openly with about how you are feeling mentally is the first step in making sure you receive the help you need. Many times we tend to brush things off. We’re taught to just let things go or not to “complain” because having a baby is what we wanted, right? No. I’m here to tell you, speak up. It may feel weird at first to let others in. However, it’s vital that you speak up so that you can receive the help that you need.
One thing I made sure to do (and still do) is keep my husband in the loop. For me that was probably the single most helpful thing to do for myself. Being open and honest when overwhelmed, when something is off mentally, physically, or emotionally, or simply when an extra hand is needed to complete household chores has made a huge difference in my journey.
If something feels off, please speak up.
3. Sometimes you just need a break. Let’s face it, we all need time to ourselves. Being a mother, especially a new one doesn’t leave much room for that to happen. Not only that, mom guilt can take over and prevent you from taking one. The thing I’m most thankful for is having a husband that recognized when things were getting overwhelming for me and stepped in so that I could rest.
Having a postpartum support team, be it your significant other, a trusted family member, or even a postpartum doula, will allow you to take the break you need. Even if it’s just 15 minutes to take a shower and brush your teeth.
Build your support system early
Building trusted support takes time. Some people have lifelong friends or family to help them. If this isn’t your reality, it may be helpful to join Facebook groups, join communities on websites like What to Expect, or ask your birthing facility if they have recommendations for mommy groups. Whatever you choose to do, do it early so that you can build trust with that person.
Too many times we are told that our main focus should be on the baby after giving birth. While that is true, we also have to make sure we are caring for ourselves and have the needed postpartum support. Why? Because we can’t be our best for our baby if we aren’t our best selves.
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